DILEMMA

"have you ever looked up at the sky and thought of me?",she sounded rather sad tonight. To tell u the truth,i haven't actually!!not because i didn't wanted to or wouldn't have,just because i dont get much time to look up these days,i am sure her thoughts wpuld have popped out of nowhere had i got a chance to ponder looking towards the sky. Its so polluted out here,when i look up i only see clouds of smoke covering the universe on top of my head, see everything but sky!!


"ya,i do.A lot of times actually",i replied,to which she asked,"you are not lying?", umm...well,i was lying,wasnt i? but considering the possibility that,had i looked up to the sky and considering that i was thinking of my dear ones,i would have probably thought about her too!!and the fact that i didn't ,might make it look like i lied but the fact that i didn't looked up at the sky at the 1st place means i was not lying,so in tht case i was 40% lying and 60% speaking the truth which means that i was 20% speaking the truth more than i was lying,"no iam not lying,why would you think iam lying?",so,i said.

the fact that,i lied or she did, doesn't scare me, these things are seemingly unimportant,unimportant in the sense that we most of the time talk nonsense. What scares me is when she starts talking about our future, about having a home together, even about children!! whenever she picks any of such topics,i just kid and make my way through the volleys she throws upon me. the moment she starts i start making jokes just to make our conversation light. We r such good friends already, i love her,i do. aah! i only worry that she might be taking all these way too seriously. Who knows about future?i dont!!
i dont say anything though,i just flow with the moment,why spoil such a great moment thinking of something that might happen in the future! i dont want to hurt her though, i know she is strong enough to held onto if anything as such happens in future. She is one fine,strong lady!actualy,i sometimes find her stronger than me emotionally!

i looked into her eyes,she looks through mine. We chat some more nonsense,i like to make her smile,she compliments me that i have a good sense of humour. She makes me feel beautiful and i love it! a while ago i tried to look up to the sky...i can only see clouds,it might rain tonight...


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